Ruthlessness is an attractive quality in a spouse, but cruelty isn’t, and I pray to God you know what the difference is. Nuance-driven discernment is fundamental. If you don’t have it... time to train it. How to train it? How else. Get burned (in a preferably low-stakes scenario that isn’t existentially fatal), then retrospectively analyse what happened to you and transcend the natural resentment that follows (or get stuck in hate-world). Your brain is a pattern-recognising machine. Lack of discernment is simply a lack of pattern recognition. You can’t recognise what you haven’t been exposed to - novelty is inherently deceptive unless explicitly transparent. You can train pattern recognition through exposure and iteration - but - it comes at a cost: pain. If you are not willing to suffer, then you cannot know wisdom. Suffering is the cost of entry. Fulfilment through meaning and true sovereignty is the reward.