we all got that one friend who never dresses for activities

i could tell about 12 hours into "hawk tuah" that it was gonna be fucking insufferable and last for weeks and thats the feeling im getting from this coldplay concert affair video now. can we move on?

nobody says "its hot out" anymore. they say some shit like "sweatoids seething over AC chads"

oh wow. so youre telling me its evolutionarily advantageous to eat the most plentiful creature by mass on the planet? youre just telling me for the first time

you can go on the internet and say anything. if this scares you, you are fundamentally broken. it should excite you. you can go online and say things funny enough to bring people to tears. you can incite burning anger. you could write heart stopping beauty. all with just words.

there is a chemical in most shampoos that exacerbates hair loss. i havent used shampoo in over a decade and my hairline hasnt moved an inch.

nothing more insufferable than someone who doesnt drink coffee and who feels the need to remind you that they dont drink coffee on a regular basis

they just fired colbert and this is all you got? cooked

nobody tells you this because everyone has something to sell you, but you really can do a great wedding for $10k or less, just figure out who in your family has the biggest back yard, rent a tent, find a caterer in your budget, cut corners but frame it as "DIY". its not hard.

i felt like my previous post did not fully convey how ridiculously big this thing is. so i put it in front of some household objects for a sense of scale