certain breakups really oneshot people because they trigger all your attachment trauma at once and the pain specifically is about the breakup which becomes a representation of your core personal failure to be loved not the relationship. and there’s a massive difference between most breakups (which suck) and breakups that literally ruin people’s lives for some period of time

I think this is an underexplored topic bc most people find it so embarrassing after they eventually recover/feel better bc there’s this cultural narrative that “it’s not so bad” or it’s pathetic to be devastated so they downplay it